Yesterday, I rolled up my sleeves and scrubbed my house from top to bottom. In my jammies with music blaring until the windows rattled, I danced around freshly polished furniture with a broom in hand; I sang loud enough for an audience of one to hear! Joy had returned. I had rediscovered hope after a slight set back. You could say that it felt like seeing the beauty of a rainbow just after it rains. It was the moment God gave me beauty for ashes.
I had just overcome a rough couple of days, uncovering lots of painful truths. One of the truthful things I discovered was that a meaningful relationship was confirmed to be fake news and a pretentious puppet show. My heart sank with disappointment and I spent the next two days crawled up on the couch. I’d say it was about 8 hours each day: back to back TV watching, Facebook scrolling, pillow and blanket hugging that provided an escape from my rejected reality. I killed a bag of chips, I ate a tub ofice cream and (if I were counting) spent 20 more trips returning to the kitchen in search of more numbing agents.
Man, I just hate that negative spiral! It’s the waiting and waiting and waiting that unravels me. I was on the couch waiting for Jesus to show up and resolve my situation, make me feel better and give me some purpose. I became self-absorbed in my disappointment and self- loathing couldn’t be left out. Why me? Why me? Why not me? How come it’s not me? How come it is me? On and on. I struggled with the unreasonable and reasoned with the struggle. This is what life looks like without hope!
The most difficult times in my life are when hope fades. Occasionally, hope fades away like a dissipating vapor of smoke and it’s gone before you even realize it’s slipping away into thin air. It doesn’t happen when tragedy hits or when expectations become disappointments. It’s not even when (like in my case) a meaningful friendship turns out to be fake news and puppet show. The most difficult times in my life have been underscored with one common theme, putting my hope in the wrong thing.
In only timing that God could arrange, a sista girlfriend called and helped redirect my thoughts. A brief phone call and a briefer prayer led me to Psalm 39:7 NKJV “And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.” Oh boy, how quickly I was reminded how trivial the concerns of this life can be when we are out of focus. How quickly we can spiral in nonsense when we lose our compass. It’s a little funny now to think that finding out a friend is not an authentic friend had me spiraling.
The Apostle Paul tells us, in Romans 8:21-24, that we all struggle with groaning and labor pains in this life. We are in bondage together and need to be delivered. He concludes that we have a certainty of Hope in Jesus to hold on to and to wait in until the glorious day of redemption.
Knowing that Paul acknowledged that we are not alone when we lose our Hope in Jesus somehow makes me feel normal! We all struggle with the bondage of self-absorption and corruption. That said, we have access to Hope in Jesus. All. The. Time.
Speaking of“all the time,” I recently heard that rainbows exist all the time. It’s a simple condition of timing, light and water which allow us to see the unseen for a momentary time. We are able to see it long enough to be reminded of God’s covenant.
And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth” (Genesis 9:12-13) NKJV
It thrills me to know that rainbows exist all the time and we can all see them on occasion. It entices me think about the hope I have in Jesus even when I can’t see it. Even in my couch moments.
Stop the next time you see a rainbow. Pause… takes a long pause. It is not just beautiful and mysterious. Be mindful that it’s always there. God is so kind to lift the veil of this beautiful covenant from time to time to help us remember our hope in Him is always available.
Sheri Page has been married to her husband for 10 years and cherishes their blended family of 6 adult children and 9 grandchildren. She has worked in and alongside ministries for over 30 years. She has served many roles with in the walls of a church including, a Women’s Ministry director and assistant to a Care Pastor where she served people who were walking through Baptism, Celebrate Recovery, Divorce Care and benevolence. Sheri loves to share her curiosity and unique understanding of life with Jesus by her side. She is a 5 year breast cancer survivor and considers that experience to be the one of the greatest gifts God has given her. More writings from Sheri can be found on her blog: https://thelordsdwellingplace.com/